I had lost control of my life. I had to just stop. Reavulate. Make myself take time to think, without paniking, or sinking into a low place. Burying my head in the sand is what I do best. I couldnt afford to now.
I thought about what Id like to be doing in 10 years time. If I was living the dream.
I wrote it all down. It was daunting,
I needed an acheivable target.
So I thought about what Id need to change to get there, step by step.
Then, I kinda figured what I need to be doing in 5 years from now to be half way to reaching my 10 year target. I decided on a 5 point, 5 year plan...simple! Less daunting. Acheivable maybe!
1/ My daughter would have 2 parents love her.
2/ I would own my own home.
3/ I would have a career that held oportunities.
4/ I would be living on my own terms.
5/ I would feel safe.
All I had to do now was work out how to reach those targets in 5 years. It wasnt easy.
I will carry on with this later...part 3...how I got there!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
I had a 5 year plan
I had a 5 year plan, its 6 years on, and though its not on schedule, Ive pretty much acheived what Id set my mind on.
Its probably best to give some background to why I needed to make the plan first.
6 years ago, I was working fulltime as a dog groomer, a job I loved and had been doing for 10 years. I had a baby daughter, Id split from her dad, who was never going to be a permanent in my life, the pregnacy was unplanned and unexpected.
I had her in fulltime private nursery, and was basically working to pay the nursery fees, though it seemed worth it at the time. It was a top class nursery, with a dance teacher and a french teacher, The staff were wonderful and my baby was thriving in the social interaction with the other children.
I worked hard, dog grooming is not an easy job, keeping a Newfoundland in a bath when it doesnt want to be there takes a lot of physical strength. Restraining an old english sheepdog who wants to tear your face off, while you brush out 6 months worth of tangled, matted coat, takes a lot of stubborn patience as well as muscle. Between the 2 of us in the shop we did 12 dogs a day, 5 1/2 days a week. We were the top of our field in the area and were booked solid for 6 to 8 weeks in advance all the time.
Unfortunatly, my hands couldnt take the strain anymore, and I gradually lost the use of them. I had surgery on both my hands, which eased them, but didnt cure them. I still have very little grip, very little feeling in them, and no strength at all. I had to rethink how I coped with all everyday tasks, from buttoning my clothes, to brushing my daughters hair....everything became difficult. I also developed arthirits in my thumbs. it was the end of my career as a dog groomer.
I couldnt afford to keep my daughter in her nursery anymore. Things were not looking good for us. Although we did live in a good area, a nice house, with a big garden and great neighbours. I rented it from the council, although every other house in the street was privatly owned.
My daughters dad was hard work, he gave us both a lot of problems. No one could understand why I let him have contact with his daughter, he certainly didnt deserve it, or show any respect for her feelings. He made our lives miserable as often as he could, and seemed to enjoy it. He left her sitting waiting for him to turn up to take her out week after week. It was heart breaking to see her hurt by him. Everyone kept on at me to put a stop to it. To refuse him any more access.
My life seemed to be out of my control, here I was with a baby I hadnt planned for ( my other 3 kids were all teenagers and my independance had been in sight before Id fallen pregnant ) I was unemployed and as far as i could see, I was unemployable. I had no skills to offer an employer, I was a bad bet to any employer,simply because I was a single parent of a very young child, even if Id had the qualifications needed to chase the jobs I saw advertised. I had no family close by. No support, no one to help out with childminding etc. I had no money, no savings. We were living hand to mouth. My future was scarily bleak.
That was the point I decided it was time to take back control and I made my 5 year plan.
I have never written anything like this down before, I didnt realise how much I had to say! The rest of this wee tale will have to wait now till tomorow.
Its probably best to give some background to why I needed to make the plan first.
6 years ago, I was working fulltime as a dog groomer, a job I loved and had been doing for 10 years. I had a baby daughter, Id split from her dad, who was never going to be a permanent in my life, the pregnacy was unplanned and unexpected.
I had her in fulltime private nursery, and was basically working to pay the nursery fees, though it seemed worth it at the time. It was a top class nursery, with a dance teacher and a french teacher, The staff were wonderful and my baby was thriving in the social interaction with the other children.
I worked hard, dog grooming is not an easy job, keeping a Newfoundland in a bath when it doesnt want to be there takes a lot of physical strength. Restraining an old english sheepdog who wants to tear your face off, while you brush out 6 months worth of tangled, matted coat, takes a lot of stubborn patience as well as muscle. Between the 2 of us in the shop we did 12 dogs a day, 5 1/2 days a week. We were the top of our field in the area and were booked solid for 6 to 8 weeks in advance all the time.
Unfortunatly, my hands couldnt take the strain anymore, and I gradually lost the use of them. I had surgery on both my hands, which eased them, but didnt cure them. I still have very little grip, very little feeling in them, and no strength at all. I had to rethink how I coped with all everyday tasks, from buttoning my clothes, to brushing my daughters hair....everything became difficult. I also developed arthirits in my thumbs. it was the end of my career as a dog groomer.
I couldnt afford to keep my daughter in her nursery anymore. Things were not looking good for us. Although we did live in a good area, a nice house, with a big garden and great neighbours. I rented it from the council, although every other house in the street was privatly owned.
My daughters dad was hard work, he gave us both a lot of problems. No one could understand why I let him have contact with his daughter, he certainly didnt deserve it, or show any respect for her feelings. He made our lives miserable as often as he could, and seemed to enjoy it. He left her sitting waiting for him to turn up to take her out week after week. It was heart breaking to see her hurt by him. Everyone kept on at me to put a stop to it. To refuse him any more access.
My life seemed to be out of my control, here I was with a baby I hadnt planned for ( my other 3 kids were all teenagers and my independance had been in sight before Id fallen pregnant ) I was unemployed and as far as i could see, I was unemployable. I had no skills to offer an employer, I was a bad bet to any employer,simply because I was a single parent of a very young child, even if Id had the qualifications needed to chase the jobs I saw advertised. I had no family close by. No support, no one to help out with childminding etc. I had no money, no savings. We were living hand to mouth. My future was scarily bleak.
That was the point I decided it was time to take back control and I made my 5 year plan.
I have never written anything like this down before, I didnt realise how much I had to say! The rest of this wee tale will have to wait now till tomorow.
Warning!! you may become addicted!
This link will suck you in and keep you clicking...its a not to be missed one!
http://www.interact10ways.com/usa/information_interactive.htm
http://www.interact10ways.com/usa/information_interactive.htm
Friday, December 15, 2006
Silly Up Your Christmas!
This is class....its bound to put a bit of silliness into your Christmas
http://www.americaninventorspot.com/wacky_christmas
http://www.americaninventorspot.com/wacky_christmas
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Haggis hunting!
I am finding it hard to find the time right now to keep any sort of daily blog...life is one long round of work, kids and shopping.
So to keep this going without too much effort from me, Im planning on posting a link to a site I think might be fun/of interest to some.
this first link is to the 'Great Haggis Hunt'
Its a link to various live city webcams, mainly around Scotland. The idea is to spot the elusive haggis, with prizes to be won, (although the first prize would really only be relevent if your planing on a trip to bonny Scotland) If nothing else, you can check out the weather in Scotlands main cities.
http://haggishunt.scotsman.com/
So to keep this going without too much effort from me, Im planning on posting a link to a site I think might be fun/of interest to some.
this first link is to the 'Great Haggis Hunt'
Its a link to various live city webcams, mainly around Scotland. The idea is to spot the elusive haggis, with prizes to be won, (although the first prize would really only be relevent if your planing on a trip to bonny Scotland) If nothing else, you can check out the weather in Scotlands main cities.
http://haggishunt.scotsman.com/
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